Thursday, February 23, 2012

Stranded

I'm watching Elmo in Grouchland for like the ninetieth time in three days. For a few reasons, mostly because the Goose is currently OBSESSED, but also because we're basically stranded in this house. It's been kinda cold but still mostly nice, especially for late Feb (ahhh global warming). And normally we'd be getting out and going places, but our "good car" is in the shop for the second time this month and about a thousand dollars later, it's still effin there. Oh, and us smarty pants were intelligent enough to take the carseat out to use with our second car...but not the stroller. M has been working every.damn.day ( hello overtime), taking the car and leaving me with nada, not even a stroller. So we've been getting around by way of the fisher price cozy coupe. Let me tell you, the cozy coupe is not a very practical means of transportation to go anywhere of importance or of use, really. The park is about it. And even then all the other kids are trying to swipe it and I'm all "go ahead, little boy, hop in, fun for everyone". But then I see the other moms giving me the ice grill for being the idiot momma who brought the coveted and mutually loved cozy coupe to the park because now all their kids are crying because not everyone of them can play with it at once. Mom-park fail.
With all that mouthful said, we're home more than usual. I've been pulling out all the stops with different at-home activities, but in the last two days the Goose took half a sip of soapy water, been unhappily covered in cornstarch goop, and discovered he hates to be a toilet paper mummy, among many other laughable situations, so they've also been a slight fail. I'm running out of at home ideas and if I watch Elmo one more time I'm going to rip my hair out. On the positive side I've rearranged a few things and gotten a ton of laundry and cooking done. Good with the bad I guess. Here's some cuteness from our past few days stranded...

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Gampa and the Goose


Our little boy is absolutely obsessed with his Grandpa, aka Gampa. And it's even moreso the other way around. M is working a 24 hour overnight shift so I've decided to pretend I'm a single mom in need of help and am bunked up at my parents. To be honest, our house was a mess and this is the perfect way to avoid it all. Also, a visit to Jonanna and Gampa's house offers me a break without actually having to ask for it and they think I'm really doing them a favor (not me) by bringing the Goose over. Win win. The added kicker? Jonanna even cooked up a sick meal - her famous goulash.
Excuse me, I have a glass of wine waiting for me. Enjoy your Presidents holiday!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Bloom

via
So excited...I ordered mine as soon as it was available for preorder. You should order yours, like, yesterday.

Check out the trailer for Kelle's book here or check out her post on pre-ordering.

I've obviously not been compensated, I just love this woman's story and the way she has with words. She has an inspiring outlook on life and I love reading anything she writes.

Friday, February 10, 2012

the return of... Fill in the Blanks!

Head on over to Lauren's place to join the filling fun!



1.  I started my blog because   I wanted to start opening myself up a bit (but I’m still a pretty guarded person, so I don’t know that it’s working) and to be able to share a little about my life, my house and things that make me happy. Also, to start putting my photography out for the world to see. I don’t know that I’m doing a good job on any accounts ha.
2.   One thing I love seeing on other blogs   everything. Seriously, I love to read about people’s children, especially when they’re around the Goose’s age. I love to read about pregnancy, DIY, home decorating, food, clothes, sarcasm, real life. Everything. The only thing I don't love is/are blogs written by people who use them to complain about their life. I realize that some people need this as an outlet, but it’s just not my cup of tea.  

3.  Something I love about blogging   How open some people are. I wish I could let my guard down like those who talk about miscarriage or death or things going on in their lives that might otherwise be considered personal. Maybe someday I will get there.
4. A favorite blog post of mine is probably  Nella’s Birth Story, written by Kelle Hampton on her blog Enjoying the Small Things. It is absolutely amazing. You will cry and connect with apart of yourself and to her in a way you didn’t think possible. I think I’ve said it once before, that woman has a way with words that’s absolutely amazing. Her blog is inspiring, truly.

5. Something my friends in real life know about me that I've never before mentioned on my blog is   a lot of things. Like I said, I’m extremely guarded. It scares the bejesus out of me to open up to strangers about things going on in my life that may be personal. I hope to use this blog to slowly let go.

6.  My new favorite blogs to read
I don’t know how I lived without Annie’s Eats. For real, everything she makes I want to make…and then eat…immediately. Also Our Little Beehive and somehow I wasn’t following Bower Power…don’t know how I wasn’t on the ball with that one!
7.  Some things I tend to avoid doing on my blog are   (should I beat a dead horse?) very personal things.

We’ve got a family party tomorrow night which will be fun because we haven’t seen M’s side of the family since Christmas. Then I’ll hopefully be cleaning on Sunday because our house is seriously disastrous. I’m talking crumbs –on-the-kitchen/dining-room floor from more than a week ago type dirty. I’ve just been in a funk that I can’t shake and while the last thing I like to do when I’m in a funk is clean, I’m thinking the end product will help to get me out of it. That or chocolate. But the tight pants are telling me I should try cleaning first.

Enjoy your weekend!
 

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

At Last

I've finally entered into the world of modern technology. I went and sold my soul to the iPhone devil. Yep, I'm chillin with Siri since yesterday. And lord help me it's true-it's like crack. And I got myself signed up for all the crazy addicting apps. Writing to you from my phone as we speak. Forgive any poor grammar and corny wording... I'm just too effin psyched to care!
Here's proof of my new favorite toy: Instagram

Monday, February 6, 2012

The Pump Post

If you're not into breastmilk, boobs (the feeding kind), bottles, or anything of that matter, then steer clear of this post. Oh yeah, and it’s long.

Back in one of my first posts I mentioned how I was obsessed with pumping (breastmilk, that is. For the Goose, not for fun). I realized I never really went back and got into depth about my process and experience. Now that I've been done for a few months, I thought it might be helpful to give an account of my (EP'ing) experience.

I'll start from the super duper beginning, but first say that I never cared about breastfeeding. I had absolutely no thought about it. But then I got pregnant. And with all of the information thrown at you, I have to say that breastfeeding is the one issue that took center stage for me. I became adamant that I was going to breastfeed, through hell or high-water. This might be the appropriate time to explain to you one facet of my personality that almost always wins out: my stubbornness. To put it in black and white terms: There was no way I WASN’T going to breastfeed.
And then my little bundle came.
It was so important to me to get that first shot at breastfeeding right. But, no one told me how exhausted I’d be after pushing out an 8+lb watermelon and (that just happened to have his hand up over his head therefore making it a miracle he came out that way at all) how little I would care about it in that moment. So our “first shot” wasn’t exactly a success.
Cue to the next few days in the hospital. I wouldn’t call my little guy a champ, but he didn’t seem to be struggling a whole lot. The lactation consultant was mostly happy with our progress, but advised that I pump 15 minutes after EVERY feeding until we had an established routine. I thought she was nuts, but did everything she told me to. Remember, hell or high-water folks. Looking back, this may have been the single most valuable piece of advice/information my lactation consultant could have told me. Mostly because it truly made me understand the concept of “demand” when it came to breastfeeding, but also because it taught me discipline for pumping very early on. Not to mention that it made my milk come in like whoa.
Just two days after being home, we headed to the pediatrician’s office. And I cried. Because the Goose wasn’t gaining enough weight. And the doctor ordered us to try formula. I remember it like it was yesterday. I tearfully refused to be the one to give the Goose formula, and threw an even worse tearful fit at M when he looked at me like I was crazy. Only a first time, breastfeeding mom would understand. I immediately felt like a failure, like it was the end of the world. Here we were, not even a week later, and my our plan was already not working out. But my stubbornness took over, and I turned to my pump. I wasn’t thrilled about giving the Goose a bottle (another no-no in the beginning of breastfeeding), but figured a bottle full of breastmilk would be as close to the plan over formula. And it worked. He had absolutely no problems with bottles, and he was still getting my milk. Hallelujah! All the while I was still trying breastfeeding. The Goose was still getting some milk when I would nurse, but he just couldn’t get the knack of it good enough to be full (and I knew it wasn’t supply because, sweet baby jebus, there was a shitton of it – I was ridiculously lucky).
And then the Goose started throwing up blood. Not like the pink spit up kind. Like the holy-shiit-something’s-wrong kind. I knew it was me, not him. Even still I got worried. We talked to our pediatrician about it. I was curious to know if it was bad for him to get so much blood when nursing. The doctor’s response was to laugh and say “yeah, of course it’s bad for him. A lot of blood will make anyone throw up”. So while the doctor didn’t literally tell me to stop nursing, I took his response to mean so. WRONG. 5 whole days went by and I was pumping away, hoping my nipples would heal so that I could start from scratch with nursing and get back to it. Only to return to the pediatrician to have the head nurse/lactation consultant tell me that I should never have stopped. She looked at me like I was crazy for not having known that. I wished I had just spoken to her in the first place, but I truly thought I was doing the right thing; there was no question in my mind. I hadn’t fully informed myself. With all that said, it was hard to get a now 2 week old to try nursing after he hadn’t been for a few days. He would try and be somewhat successful, but it just wasn’t working completely.
So I kept on pumping, and to put it plain and simple, never went back. I tried a few times here and there nursing again, but we never got a good routine going. And I have to say, while some people despise pumping, I didn’t mind it as much as some would think. The only major problem I found with pumping was finding the time to pump so that I could get it into the bottle before the Goose was hungry. This is a good time to mention that the Goose was an infant that enjoyed being awake. He enjoyed his nighttime sleeping, thank God, but if it was daytime, that kid hardly slept. He was not your typical sleep-all-day-and-night infant. But it was okay with us because for the most part, he was pretty content as long as you were nearby. It made getting anything done pretty hard, but I guess it could have been worse. But of course, feeding time did not apply to his contentedness. If you messed with his milk, all hell would break loose. He could go from smiles to screaming on the top of his lungs in a split second, and did not let up until the bottle was in his mouth. Even with my oversupply of milk, I found it such a challenge to keep ahead of his needs. The kid was literally drinking 6 ounces of milk every 2-3 hours (sometimes sooner) before he was 3 months old. He was a milk monster. I remember so many times just crying, begging him to “just stop crying and let me put you down so that I can pump the g-damned milk to feed you with”. I never really got ahead of his needs, and sometimes before I had an established routine we used formula. But from 3 months on he never had a drop of formula.
Don’t get the wrong idea - it was NOT easy. EPing was HARD WORK and  I made a LOT of sacrifices (don’t nursing mothers do that anyway?). But I did it all happily because it was so important to me that he got breastmilk. Here’s some things that I had to do/experience that I think anyone who is thinking about EPing should consider:

-While pumping meant M could share in the night feedings, I still had to get up in the middle of the night to pump for that first month or two, sometimes more than once.
-After the first month or two, I always had to get up early and stay up late to pump, but that goes without saying.
-Going back to work might have been easier than a breastfeeding mom, because by then I was lucky enough to have created a schedule for myself and I was already used to pumping. But, on the downside I always had an extra bag and a cooler during my 1.5 hr long commute on the LIRR. THAT was pretty complicated. In my building, the mothers who only pumped at work had the luxury of leaving their pump bags and accessories locked cabinet in the lactation room, if they didn’t need to bring them home (which many didn’t b/c they would nurse at home).
-I was attached to my pump bag for an entire year, unable to leave it behind if I went anywhere for more than 3 hours, or it was close to pumping time. Similar to a breastfeeding mom except my pump was in addition to the baby. This includes but is not limited to: funerals, concerts, shopping, friends’ houses, planes, trains and automobiles. Do you know how hard it is to pump in a moving car with no available hands because of a crying baby and trying to not flash the next car over?
-It affected how I got things done around the house, and the schedule we created as a family sometimes revolved around not only the Goose’s feedings, but my pumping sessions as well.
-In some ways, it was doing the job of both the breastfeeding mother and a formula feeding mother: taking the time to “nurse” and also taking the time to clean and prepare bottles AND pump parts – it was exhausting.
-I had to keep up a rigorous supply and demand and change with his changing needs. This happens naturally with breastfeeding, but it’s work with EPing. It takes calculating and NEVER being lazy or taking a break.
- Because I had to keep ahead of the Goose, our freezer had to always be “over” stashed, because there was no milk “on hand”. We didn’t have a big fridge/freezer. We ended up investing in a deep freezer and put it in our basement.
- Two words: Hurricane Irene. We lost our ENTIRE milk stash when Irene hit. The following two weeks were hell for me, pumping around the clock to make up for that. Somehow I pulled it off.
-While it’s cheaper to breastfeed and I’m sure we saved a ton of money, I did have expenses for extra pump parts and replacements. I wouldn’t have survived without extra sets of parts.
-I found it extremely hard to be able to have more than a couple drinks. I found it “dried me out” way too much. If I had a wedding or a party or event and I wanted to enjoy myself, I had to plan ahead with a few days’ supply. Generally, I didn’t find it worth it to drink (which is very unlike my Irish lush self).

I realize this is a pretty long list, and while I don’t mean to sound like I worked any harder than any working or SAHM feeding her child, I really felt like I was the only one who understood just how hard it was. I had breastfeeding moms tell me I was crazy or tell me they were impressed, but I also had a few who rolled their eyes at me and probably thought I wasn’t as dedicated as them. And the reactions were just about the same for the formula feeding moms, except they weren’t rolling their eyes for the same reason, they usually did it b/c they thought I was trying to “show off”.
As with all things, this is MY experience. I’m sure there are a ton of people out there who have had totally different experiences from me. Also, I don’t want anyone to read this and think I hold judgments for those who choose to formula feed. I find that it’s a very sensitive subject, but EVERYONE is different and places importance and priorities on different things. For me, my child getting breastmilk was the one of the top priorities. And I was lucky enough to have found a way to do that. I know that there are so many people who can’t or don’t want to for a million different reasons. And every one of those reasons is right for that person. It’s your life and your child. If you simply love your child, I have no judgments.

 Before I wrap it up, I wanted to share some specs of  what I used/needed/loved etc.:

-My pump: Medela Pump In Style Advanced, Metro Bag. – Loved. While I obviously have nothing to compare it to, I have no complaints and wouldn’t change a thing. I’d say it’s pretty awesome, because I put a beating on it.
-Pump Accessories: By the year’s end, I ended up with 5 extra pairs of the plastic breastshields, and regularly sterilized all of their parts (once or ever other week). I changed out valves and membranes mostly as needed (Probably about 3 – 4 times on average). I went through two pairs of tubing and had good luck with machine washing my bag. I also purchased extra pump bottles and caps. Lastly, I had to buy an extra plug, because I twisted the wiring on mine until it tore. Definitely invest in the car adaptor, it was a godsend.
-Milk Storage: I loved the Lansinoh bags best. They can be stored lying flat. This was a godsend in our small freezer and if we needed to travel with frozen milk. I’ve seen some people use alternative storage systems (glass, ice cube trays, etc), but I like this one best.
-Nursing Pads: I also liked the Lansinoh pads the best – they were the softest and I found most absorbent. If I’m remembering correctly, they were also cheaper than Medela. I always ended up buying their lanolin too.
-In the beginning I pumped about 5-7 times in 24 hours, sometimes more, sometimes less. By the time I went back to work at about 3 months, I was down to about 4 times during the week, 5 on the weekend. At about 9 months I was able to pump 4 times consistently, sometimes 3. Pretty quickly I was down to 3 and then around 11 months down to 2. When I started weaning I tried pumping only once a day, in the morning. From there I would hold out until I was in pain until eventually I was done. However, at over 4 months after being completely weaned, I still make milk…crazy!


So, that’s my EPing journey. If you have any questions or are curious about specifics, just comment here and I’d be happy to go on blabbing some more about my boobs.

Enjoy!

Thursday, February 2, 2012

More Etsy love

I can't say it enough...I effin love Etsy!

Purchased:

one of these custom made from Decorate23

two of these from GlamDesign


I'm still on the hunt for two 12 x 18 pillows at a good price (under $25 each at max) that are yellow and/or in the color family of the first ikat pillow that will work nicely. I've found a lot I love, but they either will clash with the two fabric patterns above or are out of my price range.
Also still on the hunt for: a nicely priced yellow throw blanket. Preferably super soft and cozy. It wasn't exactly what I was looking for, but the price was nice on this West Elm blanket. I was very close to buying, but now it's on backorder. Considering it isn't my favorite pick, I'm passing for now. The search continues.