It's majorly weird to even
I've been working full time for nearly half my life (minus or in addition to schooling). I was officially "on the books" at my first job when I was only 14, as a summer lifeguard. I have worked (or interned) every summer thereafter, up until I got a "real" job. I scored my first real job only a month or two out of college (which I graduated from early, pat on the back). I've taken a week or two of transition in between job changes, and had an unfortunate 6 month stint on unemployment, but overall...I've worked my arse off for as long as I can remember.
And then there was the Goose.
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| One of my all time favorites! |
My job isn't what I pictured myself doing, to say the least. Nor is it what I studied in school. I just kind of landed here. But it's a great job with GREAT pay, great perks and genuinely awesome people to work with, including my boss. I took this particular job mostly as a way to move on up into things that interested me more within this company. But I just kind of stayed, and mostly didn't hate it. And so I was settled.
And then we found out we were knocked up, and no sooner did the question come - "Who's going to stay home with the baby?"
It's funny. On a subconcious level, I never imagined I wouldn't stay home with my children, even though all I've ever known and trained for was the fact that I'd be working until I could retire (or die, whichever comes first by the time I get there). But as this little soul was growing inside of me, my heart just about broke in half at the thought of not being there to watch him or her grow up each and every day. And I realized that there was no way in h-e-doublehockeysticks I could or would be able to work at my job, away from my baby every damn day, without wanting to absolutely lose my mind. So we worked it out. And by this, I mean M and I had an idea of what we wanted to do, and before I could go to my boss to ask, he offered. He's nothing short of a real life Santa Claus. So here's the current schedule:
I take off one day a week and make up those hours on my other 4 workdays, and get to keep my salary. Cha-ching! On my 4 workdays, the Goose is watched either by M, my mom (aka JoNanna) or M’s mom (aka Meema).
This is our “as good as it gets” schedule and it was working, for a while. But every day that passes is just another day that I wish I were somewhere else. Add to that, M is home most of the time and is finding himself just as unhappy as me. We’ve started resenting each other, and our relationship is suffering. Having the Goose made me realize that I never really liked my job, I just tolerated it (cue this song, true story).
So push came to shove (just about literally) and we made the decision to have me home for as much as we think our wallets can tolerate.
That’s 3 days a week at 60% pay. While it’s only one less day than my current situation, the deal breaker was that I’d no longer be making up those hours. Right now, I’m leaving my house before 7 in the morning, and not getting home until after 8 most nights. With my new schedule, I’ll be home the two days, plus I can leave almost a whole hour later, and get home before 6:30.
I know it’s not going to be easy taking this financial hit, but we can handle it. We have to.
I mostly worry that it won’t be enough…
Oh, and I suppose I should mention that I’m also going to start pursuing a new career. No biggie. I’ve always wished I had studied photography, or even made it a hobby. But I never did. Until now. I’ve been reading and researching for a while. Then I bought a camera. I’ve been self teaching and I love it. But sooner than later I want to take classes/ workshops. I want to just overload myself and throw myself into this passion (or as much as my schedule will allow).
I know I didn’t really wrap this up gracefully, but that's about all my brain can handle for right now. Hopefully I'll have some of my latest pictures to share...so you can judge me and my talent (or lack thereof).
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