Commuter Chronicles

Click here for some background

Today's experience wasn't a shenanigan, as per the usual. To cut to the point, I think I may have spotted the tallest man on earth, or at least the man with the longest legs in the world. I kid-you-not that this man's legs were absolutely the tallest things I have ever seen short (punny, haha) of buildings and trees. I swear. I am not even exaggerating - not even a little bitty bit. And let me tell you, I'm no shorty. So this isn't a case of  "wow, that 6 foot man is soooo, like, tall". I'm 5' 9", which isn't ginormous, but I'm pretty sure I'm standing taller than the national average for the womanfolk. I'm also surrounded by some pretty tall fellas, so it's not like my height alone is the judging factor. Too many of my friends tower over me on a regular basis. Most of the men in my family start at 6 feet and go up from there. My sis-in-law's husband is something like 6'5", and his brother is 6'7" or more (one day I'll provide wedding pics of my sis-in-law's to show you the hilarity of those two standing next to my husband and his brother).
So consider it true when I say this guy had legs taller than a mofo'n giraffe's (okay, taller than giraffe's legs is crazy and not true, but taller than a good amount of woman, yes). Want proof???? Okay, here's your proof!

No, no pic. That's creepy. I try not to get caught secretly taking pics of people's legs I don't know.

My proof is that his belt, which was cinched around his miniscule waist, was higher than the top of my boobs!!! Now, my boobs (I will shamefully admit) are no spring chickens. Pregnancy and now 9 months of pumping have surely sucked the life out of them, leaving them a little "low" to put it nicely. But the girls are also pretty darn big and I happen to be a big fan of the secret that is Victorias. You better bet my trusty pushup keeps 'em up nice and high. So when I say that his belt was higher than the top of the girls, that means we're looking at roughly 5 feet of nothin' but legs.
Maybe I'm crazy, but isn't this just a tad bit freakish? I'm sorry Mr. Giraffe Legs, but I surely cannot be the first person to make this observation.
And if all this freak talk isn't mean-girl enough for you, all I kept thinking was "I bet his fingers and toes are g-effin-rossly long and freakish too"

Add another point to that handbasket that I'll be riding into hell...